Thus it was, that the proceedings of the magisterium of Shytown came to nought. The Jirrian High Magistratum considered the tenderment by the advocates of Arty Kool that Shiwajun’s certificato was fugazious. But the Magistrators would neither see nor hear any evil of Shiwajun, and declared Arty Kool’s tenderment to be out of time.

“And even if it were not out of time, this tenderment beareth not the mark of certification of the magisterium at Shytown. Hence, this magisterium hast no way of knowing if it be authentic or not.”

“My Lords, do ye make this pronouncement unaware of the immense irony here?” asked Arty Kool, dumbfounded by it all.

Lo, the people heard it and, you know what? There was chill in the gaddem land. None was moved outside of the host encamped around Shiwajun at Bedrock. “My JuryInGalilee, thy job is now safe for a quadrannium,” Shiwajun was said to have remarked to his new scribe.

JarJar Beer Miller had yielded his rubberstampia in excelsis to become King Shiwajun’s personal Chief Warden at Bedrock and rejoiced at the news from the High Magisterium. His colleague in Shiwajun’s APINTIB (Association of Previously In Trouble in Bidenistan), the ThisOne of Ohgunsoppotamia also hailed the reprieve for Shiwajun.

Fearsome Wee Kay, the former King of Rivissinia also welcomed the good news. For though he was Padipalian, Shiwajun (an Apicurean, remember) had appointed him as Prefect of Boo-Jar. This was in recognitation of Fearsome’s exploits and exploitation of the Yakurbian Necomongers in Rivissinia during electoralis. Fearsome was the most prominent member of the Fatal Five, the Padipalian Kings who openly conspired against their own champion at electoralis, Arty Kool.

Wee Kay had ruled over Rivissinia for 2 quadrannia and was bound to yield the throne, by the laws of the land. He could have followed his brother Kings to become a Nasshole but he was far too machiavellian to join a host of rubberstamping teapots in their glorious incompetence. No, he had grander designs. He would be Prefect over Boo-Jar and he would remain overlord of the Rivissinians.

“How shalt thou accomplish this?” his orchestra asked.

“Simple. I will employ the spectactular science of, erh what? Simulation.”

“Simulation?”

“Yes. To simply it for you, I will station a similarity to myself to sit on the throne. Not a simpleton, though I would effectively expect a simp, such that I will simultaneously administer Boo-Jar and Rivissinia by means of a simulator. He will speak but people will hear my voice. He will act but their eyes will see only me.”

Thus, Fearsome anointed the Head of the Rivissinian Abacus, Foo Bar Truman, to succeed him. And electoralis was foregone conclusion, returning Shiwajun and Foo Bar as the selections of the Rivissinians.

And when Foo Bar Truman went to seek Fearsome’s advice on the new Rivissinian ruling council, Fearsome assured him that there was no need to worry. ” Look, I love you so much, that I have made your burden as light as possible. I have installed your councillors, wardens, prefects and even your personal scribe. All your wants and needs will be met before you can say ‘Oh dilly!”

“Ah, King Fearsome, I had hoped to bring a few friends along with me.”

“Don’t worry, my son. I have also appointed some new friends for you. I’ve taken care of everything you need.”

For Fearsome, everything worked according to plan at first. The Rivissinian winged chariot remained in his custody, and all the Rivissinian nobles still sought his graces. Foo Bar Truman enjoyed the show at first but soon realised what was happening. For when he dined with people not sent to him by Fearsome, Fearsome would mention it to him. And if he relieved himself in a chamberpot outside of the inns approved by Fearsome, Fearsome would make it known to him in no unclear terms where he was expected to defecate. And as for ruling, Truman did not feel very much in charge even though he felt so much power coursing through his veins.

So he threw down the gauntlet and tried to shake things up.

Wee Kay then invoked the Etiaban Protocol, convening the Rivissinian Sassholes to depose Foor Bar. That night, Foo Bar prayed hard to the gods in emeffemic manner that fire would consume all his enemies and their plans. Behold, the gods answered, and a mysterious fire erupted in the Sassholes’ chamber.

The Sassholes loyal to Fearsome moved a deposement motion against Truman but his loyalists quickly countered by electing a new Warden to preside over their affairs. Foo Bar then moved again to suspend the Rivissinian High Magistratum and all the mayors of the Rivissinian mayorates, attempting to stifle the simulator.

Foo Bar then marched into Harr Courts to try to speak to the people but the constabulary deployed waters and onion gasses at high velocities, to impede him.

All of Jirria saw it. Lo, it was beheld in all of Twilistia and Social Mediana.

And there was no gaddem chill in the land!