They gathered from far for Aliko
Days after the rip from Atiku
To honour the man
Their oil masterplan
No plans of their own, brains like Tico
Le Prof has finally spent
On class, and not just on rent
From Madrid a thrill
They gave us Özil
To thrive, from whence Gareth went.
Did you see the fantasy sale
That’s making all football heads wail
The priciest man
In Galactico land
Is Gareth (not Christian) Bale
He’s fully recovered they say
In wholly opprobrious way
But if he returned
To the cockpit he burned
I bet none of those guys would stay
There once was a team warchest
S’posed to make squad the best
But something is wrong
For all summer long
The cheque-book’s been under arrest
The House has declared him unfit
His sackings not likely legit
The vultures unyielding
His signature wielding
The absurdity makes one spit.
Danbaba’s case is a weird one
His Deputy must be a feared one
For stupidest prank
His handlers we thank
As Suntai’s becoming a jeered one
ASUU went on strike, now been struck
In Delta, Kidnappers amok
One score Dons abducted
A ransom expected
Kidnappers are in for a shock.
Once Martin LK had a dream
That coffee’d be equal to cream
A half century past
Now free, free at last
The coffee and cream are a team.
There once was a toll concession
Made Lekki an exception
Now down has been struck
Is Gidi in luck
Or the buyout’ll buy out an election?
Assad is the bossman in Syria
Now ravaged by war & hysteria
Provoking the West
To clean up the mess
But ‘Raq,’Ghanistan still infernia
There once was a coach named Wenger
Been on an 8yr-long bender
Determined that he
Miraculously
Would win without being a spender
Mikey & Catherine have split
It doesn’t surprise me one bit
When he said his patch
Was caused be her snatch
I knew before long she would quit
The governor that fell from the sky
Expected by many to die
Is back on his feet
Incredible feat
But ready to lead? Pls don’t lie.
Suntai though now mute is still writing
Sack letters (less bark and more biting)
But deep down I expect
The thought or prospect
Of being flown by him’s not inviting
Like Yardy,Danbaba is conscious
But to ask him to speak is presumptuous
Political dance
In macabre trance
And nobody finds it obnoxious
In the creeks once lived a warlord
By amnesty to society restored
From arms, bayonette
To owning a jet(!)
Late Yardy we must all applaud
There broke a holy scandal
“That preacher is a vandal”
Salacious surcharge
For Grace-ous discharge
Brethren, let’s light a candle.
The salacious saga’s crescendo
The Grace-Powerups like Nintendo
To levels unknown
My mind has been blown
Wow, see pastoral innuendo
There once was a Gyptian Pharaoh
Ruled, feared like Emperor Nero
Imprisond’pon Spring
That Arabs did bring
Released, cos Gypt’s at ground zero
The start to the season was patchy
But #Wenger is wise, like Apache
Redeem us, he must
So Gunners, defeat Fernebache!
Old Rob of new Rhodesia
Black King of maladmesia
Has done it again
Now in 7th reign
All cheer? It must be amnesia.
The proud red men of London
Are faced with a conundrum –
To flourish or dry
To spend or to die
In glare of White Hart bunkum
Here’s more presidential porn
From the’appendage heaped with scorn
Our oxes are gored
Tim’s Vice-Man ignored
Cos with her they didn’t mourn
His article, overly retweeted
Salacious parts now deleted
No Hector of Troy
The sad little boy’s
Apology futile, defeated.
The author of tribal trilogy
Adduced “non-tribal” biology
The lesson is learnt
His fingers are burnt
And hence the quick apology.
There once was a “ceasefire”
By men who were pariah
It’s puzzling how
They fooled that old cow
As death-count keeps on getting higher.
Related articles
- The punter – a limerick in response (poetscornerblog.wordpress.com)
- Stress and a Limerick (chittlechattle.com)
- Limericks (npr.org)
- Dirty Limericks – My Experiments with Writing (keviv50.wordpress.com)
And this pretty much sums up 2013 for me. Well done
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