Can Tambuwal Declare His Own Seat Vacant?

If, by some tragic stroke of misfortune, President Goodluck Jonathan, Vice-President Namadi Sambo and Senate President David Mark all died today, Aminu Tambuwal, Speaker of the Federal House of Representatives, would be sworn in as President of Nigeria. Yet, in response to his defection to the APC, Tambuwal’s security detail has been withdrawn.

 

The Inspector General of the Nigerian Police, in the attempt to justify his withdrawal of the security detail of the Speaker of the Federal House of Representatives, cited the following section of the constitution:

 

 

Section 68(1): A member of the Senate or of the House of Representatives shall vacate his seat in the House of which he is a member if – (g) being a person whose election to the House was sponsored by a political party, he becomes a member of another political party before the expiration of the period for which that House was elected; Provided that his membership of the latter political party is not as a result of a division in the political party of which he was previously a member or of a merger of two or more political parties or factions by one of which he was previously sponsored.

 

As far as the IG is concerned, it would seem that Aminu Tambuwal is not merely just no longer the Speaker – he isn’t even a legislator anymore. While former principal officers of the State still have state-provided security attached to them (and therefore cessation of office should not automatically mean withdrawal of security), the focus of this piece is the little constitutional crisis we have on our hands.

 

According to section 68(2), edited slightly for relevance, “the Speaker of the House of Representatives shall give effect to the provisions of subsection (1) of this section, so however that the Speaker or a member shall first present evidence satisfactory to the House that any of the provisions of that subsection has become applicable in respect of that member.”

 

Thus, Tambuwal is required to declare Tambuwal’s seat vacant, in the absence of evidence that there is a division in the PDP.

 

Since the events at the PDP’s convention last year led to several prominent members leaving the party for the APC, it has been the contention of the PDP that the legislative seats of those who crossed over to the APC be declared vacant, going by the provisions of Section 68(1)(g). According to them, as there is no division in the PDP, all legislative defectors must lose their seats. Should they?

 

The courts have not been very helpful with the interpretation of this section. In all the recent defection cases, even where splinter groups have held parallel congresses and elected their own officials, the courts have ruled that no division existed. They have however refused to describe what situation or circumstances they would see as constituting a division. And that remains the central issue.

 

However, even if there was a division in the PDP 12 months ago, there is also the question whether or not such division still exists. The dust has pretty much settled and everyone has gotten on with life in the new party. Or does the fact that the court’s final decision on the legislative defections so far mean that the “division” (if it is eventually ruled to exist) is a continuing one? We wait to see what the court will say.

 

To complicate matters for the PDP, who have asked Tambuwal to resign his office, the constitution is quite clear on how the Speaker may leave the office. Section 50(2) says –

 

The Speaker the House of Representatives shall vacate his office –

  1. if he ceases to be a member of the House of Representatives otherwise than by reason of a dissolution of the Senate or the House of Representatives; or

  2. when the House of which he was a member first sits after any dissolution of that House; or

  3. if he is removed from office by a resolution of the House of Representatives, by the votes of not less than two-thirds majority of the members of that House.

 

In other words, pending the final decision of the courts, Tambuwal has to declare Tambuwal’s seat vacant or the House has to impeach him, otherwise he remains in office. PDP does not have the required numbers to carry out the impeachment. Stalemate, for now.

 

Tambuwal ought to resign. It is the moral, honourable and statesmanlike thing to do. But he is not under any legal compulsion to do so. If he is as shrewd as is reputed however, he must have prepared for the very dirty fight ahead.

Injunctional Bias: Like Sanusi, Like Diezani?

 

With conflicting media reports, it is unclear whether or not the minister of petroleum resources, Diezani Allison-Madueke actually did it. However, there was news of her obtaining an injunction against the federal house of representatives, restraining them from investigating allegations that she spends considerable sums of state funds maintaining private jets for her personal use.

 

Now, mainstream social media (perhaps mainstream Nigeria, even) has a slight but very palpable anti-federal government bias. This may or may not be justified, but that is hardly the point. So, news of her having obtained this injunction has been greeted with derision at Diezani and frustration at the Nigerian judiciary. Watchers on the pro-government side of things have however pointed out what they perceive to be inconsistent criticism, as ousted/suspended/retired governor of the Central Bank, Mallam Lamido Sanusi, was congratulated when he obtained a similar injunction a few weeks ago. Are the Sanusi and Allison-Madueke injunctions one and the same? I do not think so. Why?

 

Well, according to information on its own website, the FRC “is a federal government agency established by the Financial Reporting Council of Nigeria Act, No. 6, 2011.  It is a federal government Parastatal under the supervision of the Federal Ministry of Industry, Trade and Investment. The FRC is responsible for, among other things, developing and publishing accounting and financial reporting standards to be observed in the preparation of financial statements of public entities in Nigeria; and for related matters.” The enabling Act also suggests that the FRC is strictly concerned with developing, setting and enforcing accounting financial reporting standards.

Does the FRC have the power to investigate for financial misappropriation? [CORRECTION] Hmmm. The enabling Act entitles the FRC to investigate “any complaint or dishonest practice, negligence, professional misconduct or malpractice, made against any professional.” The FRC also has the power to summon the professional being investigated. Who then is a “professional” for the purposes of the FRC Act? The Act seems to use “professional” interchangeably with “professional accountant” (see the sections on registration), so I would suggest that the FRC’s power to investigate is limited to professional accountants who have not conducted themselves properly in their audit/financial reporting. I do not think its powers of investigation of the FRC, as drafted, extend to investigating financial misappropriation. In any event, the courts will rule on whether the CBN governor’s suit against the FRC on the 12th of May.

 

So, in my opinion, Sanusi’s injunction was ostensibly to stop a federal agency from arrogating questionable powers to itself or overreaching itself. At the very least, the FRC’s power to investigate a CBN governor is questionable. Agreed?

 

On the other hand, the constitution establishes, unequivocally, that Houses of Assembly have the power to investigate (a) any matter over which it has power to make laws; (b) the conduct of affairs of any person or agency charged with administering its laws or disbursing money it has appropriated.

 

But the constitution does not stop there. It goes on to say that the foregoing powers are only exercisable for the purpose of enabling the National Assembly to (a) make or amend laws; and “(b) expose corruption, inefficiency or waste in the execution or administration of laws within its legislative competence and in the disbursement or administration of funds appropriated by it.”

 

Dear friends, does the National Assembly have the power to investigate allegations of corruption or misappropriation of funds against a minister of a federal government ministry in respect of which the Assembly makes laws and appropriates funds? I think so.

Is there any basis for courts to grant an injunction to restrain the National Assembly from investigating a minister? Oh yes! If their investigation is neither for the purpose of aiding the legislative process nor for exposing corruption, etc., then yes, the National Assembly would be acting outside its constitutional bounds.

 

Is this investigation concerned with exposing corruption and waste? The answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind…

 

 

The Chronicles of Chill

And it came to pass, on the tenth day of the second month of the two thousandth and fourteenth year of our Lord, after a season of chill, a trouble came upon the land of the Twillistines and there was a lack of chill.

The prophets of blog had been summoned by King JeKFa of the Western Kingdom of Ekitilopia and lo, he sought their counsel for three days and three nights. Yea, unto them did he bring a feast and unto them he shewed the fat of the land.

He spake unto them his vision for prosperity  that he might receive their prophetic anointing for the crown not to depart from his head. And the prophets, upon return to whence they came, did receive fifty bags of silver from King JeFka.

And they prophesied unto the Twillistines. But yea, after 2 days and 2 nights were passed from the departure of the Prophets of Blog from the presence of King JeFka, the spirit of the Tword came upon Bubsalom, prophet of PiDoPilia and through him it was revealed that utterance from the Prophets of Blog followed the receipt of silver. And there erupted a severe lack of chill. The Prophets of Blog, incensed, did say that many of their number received the 50 bags of silver in restitution, rather than gratification or perversion. Then that evil spirit, demon from the depths, swept over the Twillistines. And his name is known unto the sons of men as Cynicism. Thence followed the chronicles of chill…

The Past Few Weeks in Limericks

The Tribune reports a bizarre story, where students of a particular secondary school in Osun State, reacting to the governor’s pot-pourri revamp, all came to school wearing religious garb. Christians in choir robes, Muslims in veils and African religionists in, well, “fetish” regalia.

In Osun right now there’s confusion

In secondary school institution

Rauf did a mix

And now he must fix

The MusChristTrado revolution

You must be weary of my unending coverage of the political defecations now. No, that was not a typo. The Parties are shitting on each other, aren’t they? Well, the PDP has now lost, for the 2nd or third time in its history, the country’s former vice president. The question has been asked what will happen if he fails to get the APC’s presidential nomination, being its newest member and all… Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

The party they want to cremate

As all these old hands relocate

Will lead to the loss

Of national gloss

The defectors Atiku-late*

————-

He’s been here & there & all over

Political shaker and mover

When you oscillate

Like he’s done of late

You’re king of the Party jan’glova*

Now, how does Atiku’s defection/resignation/porting affect previous political calculations? It is said to be an open secret that the current Speaker of the House is poised to join the APC and become its presidential nominee. The chatter on this has been a little subdued over the past week. More waiting and seeing to be done.

What happens when Speakers defect

What should be the legal effect

If they stay in-seat

‘zit legal conceit

Or is it a power redirect?

Ah, yes. There’s also been the matter of a legislative filibuster, which we haven’t seen for a few generations now. Buoyed by the recent influx into its fold, making it the majority party in the lower house, subject of course to how the courts eventually treat defectors, the APC has asked its members to block all executive bills. This is not because they enjoy being a nuisance to the President, no. They say they’re doing it to compel him to return the “rule of law”. We’ve already discussed how that means several things and nothing all at once in Nigeria.

To strip PDP of its lustre

The APC men in their cluster

Are “taking a stand

For good gov’nance” and

Will do so by a filibuster

————————–

Absorbing the past’s imperfections

To shore up for coming elections

Are you really new

Do you have a clue

Or defects are mere defecations?

We return this week to the case of Danbaba Suntai, governor-on-gardening-leave of Taraba State. He appeared on a most pitiful interview on Sahara Reporters, though the State has since feebly alleged that the video is a fake. I know who I believe.

The guv’nor who crashed with his plane

Whose aides say is fit & is sane

In video log

On Sahara’s blog

Admits he can’t yet take the strain

——————–

Danbaba’s aides cleary can’t think

That someone so close to the brink

Was left to admit

That he wasn’t fit

And that he’d been prone to the drink

One of GEJ’s longtime tormentors, Mallam Nasir El-Rufai was invited by the SSS to explain certain remarks he’d made. On the good Mallam’s release, he chose to confirm the rumour about Presidential Sniper Teams, first given credence by former President Obasanjo in his open letter to President Goodluck Jonathan.

Our Mallam Has Sighted The List

But Says He Won’t Give Us The Gist

For All Of That Tripe

’bout Rulers That Snipe

We Cannot All Help But Be Pissed

Now, who leaked that snipering list

—————————-

That’s got APC in red mist?

Was it worth revealing

Their targets, who reeling

Now fret if they really exist

The PDP kicked out 80-year old erstwhile chairman, Bamanga Tukur, and President Jonathan promptly appointed him as head of the 115-year old railway corporation. Nothing more to be said about this geriatric pairing, except maybe a previous word on the railways. Oh, and that this was still a huge relief as the word on the streets was that Tukur was going to be appointed the minister of defence!

So Tukur was not for Defence

Their rapture must be so immense

Those poor Jonathanians

Who face Social Medians

And randomly take offence

—————————

The railways aren’t yet slow enuf

Journeys insufficiently ruff

So we got an Ancient

To make us more patient

By fixing up all of that stuff

 

If you’re Nigerian and you haven’t yet heard this leaked customer care agent call, where have you been???

While checking on MTN import

Etisalat Uche gave comfort

Was falsely accused

Of Snatchery-Abuse

And being the called party’s consort

And finally, to St. Peter’s square, where the Pope released a dove to the heavens. The dove didn’t quite make it that far, though as a crow attacked it. A form of Mene Mene Tekel to the onlooking crowd, or what does this mean?

When Francis let go of the bird

A shriek & a cackle were heard

A seagull & crow

Impeded its flow

In scenes superstitious, absurd

*Atiku-late was coined by @Shimoshi1. Follow him on twitter for more witticisms.

The Week Gone By

1. We begin this week’s roundup with the goings-on in the People’s Democratic Party and statements from those who remain in the party, as well as those who have defected. The President, in a moment of uncommon frankness and lucidity, confirmed what many already suspected – most of the misfits in politics chose to “serve” not because they really wanted to serve, but because they were jobless.

Our leader, in Freudian slip

Has given his colleagues the flip

We do this enjoyment

Because unemployment

Has held Nigeria in its grip

2. After many months of wrangling, in-fighting and defections to the opposition, Bamanga Tukur was forced to give up his position as the Chairman of the PDP. However, the President swiftly promised that he would “reward” the 80-year old (!!!) with a juicier position than party chairman (he actually said “tougher” but let’s all agree he was being euphemistic). Well, he’s fulfilled this promise, as Tukur is set to be announced as the new Minister of Defence.

There was an old man named Bamanga

Led ruling clique of Bonga-Bonga

Was forced to resign

Against his design

Where is he? Asimbonanga!

So, Tukur, Defence! What a hoot!

A platinum gold parachute

The octogenarian

For being non-sectarian

Will watch o’er the gun and the boot.

3. After being the spearhead of the group that threw a spanner in the cogs at the PDP convention, which has led to the osmosis/diffusion from the PDP to the APC, Atiku Abububakar has announced that he will consult all over the nation on whether or not he should join the APC. Uhmmm…..

The grand architect of the chasm

Split PDPs light in its prism

Says he will consult

Collate the result

‘Fore joining APCs orgasm

4. Femi Fani-Kayode’s been writing again. The piece itself is evidence of how far technology and democracy have come, as my brain cannot process the consequence of its equivalent during the Abacha or early Obasanjo years. It contains 12 steps that GEJ must follow to achieve Illuminatic enlightment (or bring back peace to Nigeria, whatever), which include lying prostrate before 7 living elementals and remaining there until each had pronounced absolution. There were some salacious tidbits too.

That piece, though lampooned, is quite handy

It showed the modus operandi

The royals-in-castle

Relieve all our hassle

With kai kai and Ol’ Mama Brandy

5. This one is for Pastor Chris Okotie, renowned grandliloquent man of the cloth, who has flagged off his perennial presidential campaign by telling Catholics the Pope is the antichrist and that  they’re all going to hell.

Our dear Pastor truly excites

His church with grammatical flights

But his inclination

To rule our nation

Is mostly all saccharine delights

6. The President recently signed the Same Sex Marriage Prohibition Bill into law. While banning gay marriage (which was already unlawful under the old marriage laws), many argue it actually goes as far as also making private homosexual conduct illegal. It kicked up a storm on the interblogs.

The old law was no more effectual

To deal with love gay, though consensual

To make up the time

It now is a crime

In Naija to be homosexual

There was once a Nigerian law

That made twitterati jaw-jaw

‘Bout culture, religion

“Colonialisation”

Intolerance, hatred and more

This loud and impassioned debate

About how adults may relate

Has kicked up a storm

About what the norm

Should be in a secular state

7. The Pastor of a popular church, accused last year of adultery, and promising a “robust response” to the allegations and accusations (yet to be delivered; that chapter is probably closed now), was blessed, by a visiting Pastor, with a Rolls Royce reported to be worth $1million

Today we must all with one voice

Give hearty thanks, praise & rejoice

There once was abuse

But now robust news

Of shiny new gleaming Rolls Royce

8. Since we’re on the subject of robust responses, how about that Okonjo-Iweala lady? Nigeria’s Minister of Finance and the Coordinating Minister of the Economy (and one-fifth of Nigeria’s Pentocracy or a quarter of its Jezebellocracy, if you believe Femi Fani-Kayode), provided a response over 100 pages long to the 50 questions she had been asked by the House Committee on Finance. Their aides must have had their weekends ruined.

The minister’s response robust

To justify huge sacred trust

So now we all wait

What will be the fate

Of all the Assembly men’s lust?

9. Two shootings on either side of the political spectrum. One was Senator Magnus Abe, of the opposition APC, the other, President Jonathan’s head of Photoshop.

They shot Magnus point-blank with rubber

And injured his somatic flubber

T’was minimal force

The cops say, of course

He’s off to London to recover

Goodluck’s chief pic shooter’s been shot

With bullets, not lenses, his lot

And live ones, not rubber

But yay, the old lubber

Is resting in a hospital cot

Fictions of Factions

The word “faction” has probably never had greater prominence, in Nigerian political history, than now. Its meaning, its existence and/or non-existence will be key factors in the impending political crinkum-crankum of 2014-15. APC’s current momentum, given added by impetus by the defection of all manner of PDP politicians into its fold, can be brought to a grinding halt if the courts uphold the PDP’s contention that defecting legislators should be stripped of their political office.

I have already suggested here, that the legislators’ seats ought to be safe. The premise of my argument was that the law permits defecting lawmakers to retain their seats if their original party is factionalised. There is a supporting judgement of the Supreme Court that states that the Electoral Commission’s refusal to register the faction will not lead to the removal from office of the defecting lawmaker.

However, the PDP insists that there is a subsisting judgement that says that there are no factions in the PDP. I dispute this, for the reasons stated hereafter, and ask anyone with a certified copy of that court ruling to please share it with us. The reasons that I do not believe that it was the dictum of the court that “there are no factions in the PDP” are as follows:

  1. The court’s ruling was not reported in any newspaper to be about whether a faction existed or not – it was about who the lawful leaders of the Party are/were. ThisDay reports that it was the splinter group that went to court to restrain Bamanga Tukur and the rest of his executive committee to stop parading themselves as the PDP executive. A further report, of a subsequent suit (as the initial one was struck out) can be found here; and
  2. It is customary for judges provide the rationale behind their decisions. Their decisions would be arbitrary, otherwise. Thus, if a court rules that there are no factions in a party, it must state the test or criteria it adopted or created in reaching this determination. No such criteria have been relied upon by the PDP members seeking to rely on the alleged judicial pronouncement that “there are no factions in the PDP”.

One must then ask when can it safely be said that factions exist within a political party? The question is important, as many commentators cite a precedent from last year where a state lawmaker that defected from Labour Party, in Ondo State, lost his seat.  The court upheld the contention that the lawmaker did not prove a division (or faction) within the Labour Party. It is also relevant that in reaching its decision, the court relied on the Supreme Court’s pronouncement in Amaechi v. INEC (2008), that –

“…if it is only a party that canvasses for votes, it follows that it is a party that wins an election. A good or bad candidate may enhance or diminish the prospect of his party in winning, but at the end of the day it is the party that wins or loses an election.”

You may recall that this was the [curious] decision in which a person who did not participate in the gubernatorial elections (after being replaced on the ballot by his party) was declared the winner of the election and ordered to be installed as Governor, as it should have been him on the ballot and “at the end of the day, it is the party that wins or loses an election”.

We should probably note, first of all, that the constitution is superior to even judgements of the Supreme Court and, as such, the first consideration of any court should be whether or not a division exists within the party. Given the events that have taken place from the PDPs special convention until now, I think it is hard to suggest the party is united. A walkout was staged, a parallel executive was elected, the splinter party sought to operationalize a secretariat but was prevented from doing so with state apparatus (police and SSS), the splinter party sought registration at INEC which was declined, both the splinter party and the main party sought orders of court recognising them as the de jure party leaders, etc.

I am acutely aware that it is possible for future defectors to abuse the law, if all that is required to establish a faction (for the purpose of retaining an electoral seat) is staging a walkout and attempting to seize the party’s apparatus. However, this is more the reason why a mere declaration of the absence of factions is useless if we cannot tell, by the same ruling, when one exists. It should certainly not be that any group of individuals (no matter how small their number or insignificant their political clout) can claim “faction”, defect and retain their seats. However, with 6 governors, 1 former vice-president, a list of senators and representatives  (and even state and municipal legislators) that keeps growing, I would strongly suggest that denying the existence of a factionalisation of the PDP would be a fiction. What we need from the judiciary right now (and I’m not sure not only the SANs that will earn the JUMBO fees next year welcome the coming litigation) is further clarity on what constitutes a division within a political party.

The APC-nPDP “Merger”: 5 Things

Although it’s a bit of a misnomer, as the “New PDP” neither ever acquired a distinct corporate personality nor was recognised as an actual political party, but a “merger” with the All Progressives Congress (APC) was announced today. As the news spread on Twitter, a hitherto latent pragmatism also spread with it.  Suspicions about the leanings and probity credentials of the APC leaders gave way to acceptance that Nigeria isn’t yet ripe enough to be led by a party of saints. There was palpable excitement at the notion that a party that didn’t exist a year ago now has 18 governors (and numerous federal legislators) in its fold. What are the implications of this merger, though? Here are a few naïve thoughts from my de-tribalised, de-politicised, de-everythinged mind

1. An Epic Clash Awaits in 2014/15

Forget for a second, if you will, about the potential presidential candidates. Lick your chomps instead at the prospect of the mother of all muscle-flexing between Federal and State might. Incumbents typically do not lose elections in Africa. In Nigeria, the ruling PDP’s candidate has won every presidential election since our then (and still?) nascent democracy was born in 1999. The PDP has wielded control over the fabled “machinery” of elections since then. However, it was overwhelmingly the largest party in the past and its majority has now been halved. Federal Machinery is no more than an agglutination of Municipal Machineries. With Municipal (i.e. State) Machinery no longer aligned with Federal purpose the outcome may remain unknown for now, but it is sure that the jostling will be the busiest, rowdiest, most legendary election campaign (and spending, let’s be honest) that us 45’s and under have ever seen.

2. Shine Ya Eye

My twitter bio has been updated, to indicate my availability to provide electioneering services that cater to the vanities of elite Nigeria. I am not a ballot-stuffer and I have never brandished a weapon against a fellow human in all my life. To be honest, I want nothing to do with that side of our peculiar electoral process. However, I can do and coordinate the fancy stuff that we, the electoral minority, like. After all, a credible campaign consists of serving the illiterate masses empty platitudes and attempting to beguile the elite with concrete policy. If the epic spending predicted in point 1 above proves true, then there is going to be a big “mahkate” for consultants. Get your consultancy on.

3. Jagabanism is Next to Progressivenessism

Slate the Jagaban Borgu all you like but dismiss him at your own peril. This dismissiveness I speak of is not just in the context of the opposition parties (as the political calculations suggest a South-Westerner is unlikely to be a popular presidential candidate for another 20 years or so) but even with the APC aficionados. Sure, he is building a family dynasty, with the good lady senator senating and the Iyaloja General doing whatever it is Iyalojas do, but perhaps the Tinubus will be the Kennedys or the Bushes of Yorubaland – with due apologies to FFK. With the opinion most people express about him online, I think, given his astute succession planning in Lagos State, it is either he gets an unduly bad rap or Governor Fashola simply is not the saint we imagine him to be. Lagos has progressed unquestionably under their watch however, so it is clear that the man knows a thing or two about developmental spending.

4. Dry Bones Will Live Again

It was said recently, citing sources from within the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, that the reason for its poor record of enforcement recently was  a lack of funds. No money to chase stealers of money; the sad irony.  We can rest assured, however, that this hitherto missing money or a good Executive substitute for it will be delivered to the EFCC and they will begin to pursue their statutory mandate with renewed vigour and unprecedented fervour. That the scope of their sights is set on members of the burgeoning APC will be a minor footnote in the quest to kick corruption out of government. Never mind the fact that the N255m armoured car scandal refuses to go away, even with the feeble Wag-The-Dog tactics of an attack on an empty ministerial car by unknown gunmen. But I digress.

5. Plus Ca Change…

Asari Dokubo and co will no doubt, in the wake of the moves to unseat their “Jesus Christ on earth”, remind us that it is Niger Delta oil that is running through all our veins and that removing the incumbent president would be akin to ripping each of our hearts out of our bodies. It will be of no consequence, should this president be removed by a popular vote. It is “their turn”. Then, as elections draw closer, and the president begins to lie down before men of God for prayers, religion will also join tribalism as an honoured guest at the electoral feast. General Buhari, did not lie prostrate before the archbishop of Canterbury during his recent visit, so GEJ is well ahead in the picture polls. Pictures from the Jerusalem walkabout will resurface and Buhari will have to defend why he contracted the Mossad to abduct Umaru Dikko. Allegedly. Then the president will reduce the barriers for accessing the Nollywood World Bank Fund. So those ones will come out and act and sing for him again. Then North will be awash with “Sai Buhari” posters. Then the polity will be unbelievably heated up, in spite of the tepid warnings from the presidency…

My Limericks (…so far)

A beloved central banker

Was alleged to be a wanker

He squeezed the send button

To another’s man mutton

Alhamdulillahi,Love u,he thanked her

_____________________________________

A hippo came from the delta

And spoke, all ran helter skelter.

A virtue, her name

Like Helen, a dame

Her logo, a big umblerra.

______________________________________

A soldier named AlMusty

15yrs on trial grew dusty

One week out jail, promoted, all hail

Their consciences are rusty.