The Second Quadrannium of Gambrach: Ser Genesis & the Knights of the Lox of Kwee

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Thus it was again that the Tides of Yule were upon the people of the Kingdom, yea all the peoples of the earth. Shiwajun chewed upon his nails frantically in his castle at Bored-Dylan, aghast at the decimation of his political army.

“What shall we do, my Lord?” asked Jar-Jar Beer Miller, the Warden of the junior senateens. “I must comingle with the Harrydeens by virtue of my position but rest assured o Shiwajun that I am prepared to risk it all for thee.”

“Your loyalty is most appreciated, Jar-Jar Beer Miller,” replied Shiwajun, “but whilst we must indeed hold the line, we wouldest lose it all if any more of ye my generals were deposed. Remember, the goal is the throne, next quadrannium.”

“But my Lord, I am a silkened man of learning, an expert in the legal underpinnings of our Kingdom” protested Oshinoshin. “And lo, I am married to a direct descendant of Lor-Wor, the ancient sage who thou pretendest to be his reincarnate. Surely, I must show the people of Jirriah that I am distinguished beyond these pedestrian machinations!!!”

“You will do no such thing,” said Shiwajun very sternly.”Whoever jeopardises my throne will have a bullion van of Wahala Morghulis descend upon his household, unto the fourth generation. Now, go ye into the kingdom, into Social Mediana, and continue to sing the praises of Gambrach. Speak ye not against him.”

Wherefore Jar-Jar Beer Miller went unto the people declaring, “Rubberstampia in Exclesis Deo! Rubberstampia in Gambrachio Excelsis!! The people have not chosen me to contend against Gambrach and neither shall I constitute myself as a checking imbalance against his glorious reign. Rubberstampia ad infitum!!!”

Yea, there was consternation in the land, and great unchill.

And in that day, Lar-Bee, a junior senateen from the kingdom of Oyokolova and proprietor of Jirria Stakehouse, came in despair unto the Social Medianites and the Digital Perusites. saying, “Behold, the constabulary detaineth my guy and fellow Oyokolovan junior senateen Shee-Knorr!”

Shee-Knorr was the scion of the great ancient druid, Professor (not affidavit) Houdini. Shee-Knorr was also the convener of the famous knights of the Lox of Kwee, of which former king Ambsalom of Ekonnos was a prominent round-tabler.

Lar-Bee protested loudly, again, saying “Shee-Knorr is a junior senateen and an esteemed knight of the Lox of Kwee. His mission at the Constabulary was to rescue other knights who had left their chariots encumbering the highway, as is the custom of the Loxians. He must be released!”

And the people said unto Lar-Bee, “Only Genesis can save ye! Seek him out that thy friend may be delivered.”

But Lar-Bee heeded not the admonition to seek out Genesis, as he plotted the exodus of She-Knorr and other noble knights from incarceration. He made very little headway and called out again to the Social Medianites saying, “I hereby give thee an update on the plight of the Shee-Knorr and the knights. I know ye desire to know how far with them. Yea, the constabulary accuseth him of descending upon them in an ambush to rescue the arrested and unimpound their chariots. This is an egregious falsehood and cannot be allowed to stand!”

Wherefore the people responded, “There is only one name in the Constabularyverse by which a man may be saved. Seek ye out the one they call Genesis!”

“But I am a senateen. My name and word must carry…”

Lo, Lar-Bee was interrupted by a voice floating across the waves of Digital Perusia and all of Twilistia. Gently, it said, “Be still, my distinguished fellow, for I have heard thy cry. Yea, I declare unto ye – it is well with thy friend Shee-Knorr. Verily, verily, I say unto thee, he shall be set free.”

Like magic, the word of Genesis came to pass and Shee-Knorr was set free. Genesis had done it yet again.

Alas, before the people could properly rejoice, news came unto them that an armed but unknown militia had descended upon the castle of King Gejoshaphat in Two-Okay. No harm had come to the king but maigheeeeurd, there was no gaddem chill in the land!

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