Chronicles of Chill: The Benediction of Shegolas

priest standing near brown concrete wall

Behold, there was chill upon the Kingdom, following the Padipalian selection of Arty Cool as their champion to contend against Gambrach in electoralis. Yea, were the streets full of Coolades, as the supporters of Arty Cool came to be called, singing of the coming of a glorious quadrannium under his reign.

In Bedrock, the league of spinning quills were ill at ease, for the chill of the Coolades suffused the adulation of the Lovengers. And they wondered how they might put the name of Gambrach back in the songs of the people.

“Let us associated Arty with Gejoshaphat,” suggested FemCallamitus, “the people wouldst surely turn against him then.”

“No way, Callams” replied Lay Si, Bashally agreeing with him. “The spirit of forgetfulness is upon them and they sing his praises now.”

“No,” said Gyretta, “we must paint him as the opposite of Gambrach – long, long, long may he reign.” Lar-Yi, who had been ominously quiet, nodded in silent agreement.

And so the spinning quills came out to the people, in Social Mediana, saying unto them, “Be not smitten by the allure of better times under Arty Cool, for though he may be a man of much greater personal success than Gambrach, he is a man of dubious means!!!” And yea, did they slap themselves on their backs, thinking they had said something worthwhile.

Lo, the people would have none of it and quickly reported, “Balavida, the former scribe, devourer of the Kwarapta Intrusivo invasive weeds, roameth free.”

The spinning quills were taken aback but quickly regrouped. “Yea, for 4 quadrannia were the Padipalians on the Iron Throne and see how they did nothing for thee.”

“Laughing our olde assess off!” the people responded, “Woo Doo, Gambrach’s councilor for seedtime & harvest, was the Head of the Padipalian house for years!”

“Gaddem!” replied the Quills as they beat a hasty retreat.

In House Padipalia, the elders and prefects summoned Arty Cool to inform him that there were many quests to be undertaken before he could claim the golden fleece of the Iron Throne.

“First of all, ye must voyage to Owurutas and make peace former King Shegolas, under whom thou served as Hand.” Arty Cool took a deep breath. It was a journey he knew he would eventually have to make.

Legend had it that at the end of the first quadrannium of Shegolas, Arty Cool made all the wardens and capos of bend the knee and swear fealty to him. And yea, when Shegolas heard it, twas said that he came unto Arty Cool demanding that he release the wardens and capos to declare him the champion for electoralis.

And twas said that Arty Cool looked at him Marlonbrandonically and said very coldly, “You come to me this day of electoralis minora to seek my help. But you don’t bow to me. You don’t even call me godfather.”

Behold, Shegolas was said to be aghast. “Godfather? Godfather???  I am thy King. The Iron Throne is mine. You are merely my Hand.”

“Yet here we are…”

“Gaddem! So if I call thee not Godfather nor bow to thee… really? Thou wouldst require this of me?”

“Prostratum in excelsis, bruh.”

And from that time on, the face of Shegolas was turned severely against Arty Cool, such that he failed at every election Amakalically.

Yea, Arty Cool embarked on his quest to Owurutas in the company of the capos of Padipalia, until they came unto the castle of Shegolas. And as Arty Cool beheld Shegolas at the gates waiting to receive them, he alighted from the chariot and flung himself violently to the floor. And lo did he cry out in a loud voice, “O Shegolas, my King! I am only thy unworthy hand – a pitiful footnote in the volumes of your brilliance. Behold, I give unto thee dobalecus in reversam.”

The heart of Shegolas was touched and he proclaimed, “Behold, I welcome Arty Cool & the Gang to my castle today. To them I say, Hi de hi, Hi de ho! I cherish the love we have, as Padipalians. Celebration times are upon us, for I have forgiven him. It is a fresh beginning and behold, he will be too hot for Gambrach at electoralis. Go forth with my blessing, to take the Iron Throne. I have had a feast prepared for this august occasion, so let’s get down on it!”

Yea, the people of Social Mediana and the digital Perusites beheld it and they were well pleased. But in the courts of Gambrach, there was not a gaddem speculum of chill to be found!

 

 

 

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