The Chronicles of Chill: Kwarapta Intrusivo


Brethren, electoralis came and went in Ondonia and the people were blessed with a new king, Ketinski. The emergence of Ketinski from House Apicuria had sore vexed Shiwajun and it was said that Shiwajun stood with another at electoralis. Alas, there was to be no Wahala Morghulis unleashed this time. And for a while, there was chill.

This was until word reached the people that Gambrach had delayed the joining of his daughter Asos, to Noodlinho. It was said that the people of Noodles came with much lavishiousness to the house of Gambrach forgetting that he was a still in his heart an ascetic man of Gunn. But Noodles promised to do his utmost best to appear less lavish and all was quickly well and there was chill.

Even in the council of Gambrach there was chill. No word was heard from Lar Yi for many moons – twas said that he said, in his inner chamber, that there was only so much plaster that could be plastered on a wall. Mefilius had abandoned the Iron Bank of Boo Jar and was touring the country looking for new fragrances of rice to sniff. “I shall not return to Boo Jar until I have smelt all the rices of the world!” he declared. Woo Doo, who was councillor for farming held his peace, for it was okay to have your guy do some of your work for you.

For DaKidney, there was an inter-kingdom duel of women athletes, holding in the neighbouring Kingdom of Mei Roon. And DaKidney, who was Gambrach’s councillor of athletism, told his fellow councillors, “Behold and Yo, I head to Mei Roon.” Shittinski was jealous and said to DaKidney, “How I wish that I couldest change my name to DaGlove and roll with thee to Mei Roon.”

But Shittinksi had troubles to tend to at home. For the meisters of telefonia, under his prefecture, had announced to the people that a higher levy was henceforth payable on telefonestations (a super means of communication). And a cry rose from the people and went to Shittinski and they said, “Shittisnki! Or DaGlove! However thou choosest to be called. Hear our cry. Is it right, what the meisters would do to us? Wilst thou sit aside and observe?” And Shittinski replied, “Thou callest my names well but I am merely a courtesan of Gambrach. Yes, the meisters are under my prefecture but I know not whether they be right or wrong.” And then he shrieked, hee-hee, and grabbed himself in the region which if he were a woman, in the nature of Trumpet, would be his p…shahmawn! Never mind.

And in this time, the female athletes had been victorious and had triumphed over all the other kingdoms. Behold, the people were ecstatic as the brave warrior women received their crowns. But it was not long before news reached the people that no payment had been made to the athlete ladies. After the embarrassment of Olympia, the people were sure that lightning could no strike twice. But they were shocked, for DaKidney explained to them in his most confident voice “Verily, I say unto thee, I now work tirelessly to see that these beautiful falcon athletes get their coin. They would indeed have received their coin but alas, we did not expect them to win the inter-Kingdoms in Mei Roon. Yes, tis true that they have triumphed 7 out of 9 times and my surprise is a surprise to you, but had we known that they stood a REAL chance of winning, we would indeed have prepared their coin.”

The spirit of Wawu dwelt amongst the people already, so they were not shocked at DaKidney. Nothing shocked the people anymore. Well, almost nothing, for in North Easteros, a little storm was brewing. Not the evil force of the evil tribe of Boko but still, connected with to the people driven from their lands by the tribe. Gambrach had commissioned a special intervention council to bring succor to the displaced, but there was a huge, huuuuuge problem encountered by the intervention council. On their way to the camp of the displaced, they ran into a huge forest of tall grasses, of the specie corruptio korikonensis, also known as CK. The CK was so dense that they had to expend 200 million Mefilian shekels on clearing the grass.

Once it was cleared, they continued on their journey into the camp of the displaced, singing that ancient motivational song, Follow the Yellow Brick Road. Not long after, they came across yet another swamp of obstructive weeds. They did their very best but the weeds were really obstructive. This is because these new weeds were of the specie kwarapta intrusivo. They thought long and hard about it and realised that they had no choice but to spend a few hundred more Mefilian shekels clearing it.

Such was their hard luck, that by the time they reached the camp of the displaced, there was very little left of the money to feed the displaced. If not for those dastardly forest species blocking the yellow brick road. But it got worse, for senatii wished to take a look at the activities of the intervention council and they found that two and a half billion shekels of the succor-bringing funds could not be accounted for. And lo, they looked closer and found the Majirian Institutions of Learning whose existence had previously been denied.

And there was chill because everyone was tired, and we cannot come and go and die.

7 thoughts on “The Chronicles of Chill: Kwarapta Intrusivo

  1. “And there was chill because everyone was tired, and we cannot come and go and die.”

    I think this line sums it all up! The spirit of wawu dwells among us and nothing can surprise us anymore.


  2. Pingback: The Chronicles of Chill: The Seventh Bravo Chamber of Gawd | TexTheLaw

  3. Pingback: Chronicles of Chill: The Second of Epistle of Shegolas of Owurutas | TexTheLaw

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