Stream of Consciousness: In His Mind

Haaaaaayyyy Gooddddd o! Look at this big mess. They gave me phone, I hear ‘yalla-yalla’, I greet the person ‘Sallam Allaykum’; 3 days pass, dem come say no be King I been follow yarn. He come dey tell the whole world say him Papa na unethical person, cos no be me e dey follow talk. What a mess.

And all for what? That I am trying to con Muslims? What sort of accusation is this? If you want a horse to run fast, will you not chook it pin in de yansh? If you want to deceive a small child is it an unknown relative you will bring? This is why I always say that there are too many subversive elements around me. The people around us are too key for us to be flippant with.

And this woman warned me when they brought the phone o, but she was shouting at the time, so I didn’t take her seriously.

So now, they will say a whole me, with all those letters after my name, that I am a liar. Chai. DiarizGodo. Meanwhile, dem don talk seven, we never talk one back. It’s like my father used to say – a snake that has chop bellefull cannot run fast. Instead of them to run fast and identify detractors, they are talking homosexual something. They are chopping too belle full, all these ones. Look at them.

Their way is even confusing to me sef. It’s like when we were children playing football and you have that one friend that just used to kick ball anywhere belle face. Today, they tell me I should let them say his way is too sharia, I gree. Tomorrow they say let us say he signed homosexual agreement, I gree. To now join the line between sharia and homosexuality, no be flogging and stoning one dey do the other? At least that’s what this Sheikh told me when we were drinking that fine brandy in Qatar last month. Chai! That was fine, fine, cognac. I should phone him and ask for the name but I don’t know who they will tell me that I’m talking to again now, come dey talk irresponsible for den Papa and Mama head.

And this yeye guy, instead of him to sort our all this nonsense, he’s writing me letter. That what? Anyway, he kuku knows, even if the world sees that letter, I don’t give a damn. He just needs to do just have the common decency to do his job and put his initials there, let all the world know it’s truly him.

Anyway, so what will I do about this King matter now? E be like say na real vex e don vex o, as he has called his guy to come back. But you know, these things, hotting head that cannot boil water, as my madam will say. E for jus call me come corner say make I come see am. Afterall, I get over 10 transportation option. I for don dey hin side, ask am weda dat same Qatar brand dey and we quickly solve this problem. You know, even if a man has a half-caste stepbrother, blood is still thicker than water. Maybe it’s just small vexing and not really anger, ha. Anger is different from common vexing. It’s just that some people don’t know.

Hmm, or does Ali have his number? Ali my good friend. I think somebody said his PA said he won’t have my time again until April 1 now. Whether he wants to play me April Fool or something.

This woman is shouting my name again. Let me go and see what she wants…

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