It came to pass, in the year of electora federalis, that Jegatrix the Head Umpire revealed the names of they who would contend for the crown of the 37 kingdoms. At that time, all in the land knew Gejoshaphat wanted to retain the crown, and that Gambrach – the severe man of Gunn – wished to regain it. Jegatrix announced 10 other men who desired the crown and lo, was there even a female contender, Lady Rémy of French Kowagitania. But the people were fixed on Gejoshaphat and Gambrach.
And in that day, about the severity of the severe man of Gunn was there great grumbling, for it was proclaimed that he only permitted a smile to crack his lips when there was a military drill to be planned. Gambrach’s heart was troubled and burdened by this, for in his heart he felt he was not a severe man at all. Whilst he slept, an angel appeared to him saying, “Gambrach, man of discipline and severity, we have seen your anguish over who the people say you are and now bring this message to you from on high. Unleash the engraving of your daughter unto the Twillistines and you shall be Zahrafied.”
Thus did the Zahrafication of Gambrach take place, for all were swayed by the beauty of the daughter of Gambrach and the lack of severity in her apparel. And from that day, was Gambrach no longer known as severe. All hail the Zahrafication, because in a season of great unchill, it brought peace and tranquillity to the waters of Twilistia and Social Mediana.
But all was still not well with Gambrach, for though Jegatrix had pronounced him a contender for the electora federalis, the house of Padipalia, from which Gejoshaphat hailed, brought a supplication unto the people. They levelled accusation against Gambrach, declaring him not to be possessed of Scroll de Minimis of Learning.
The Scroll de Minimis, generally attained by children of learning at the end of educatio basicus, had been declared by the supreme law of the land to be tendered by any contender for the crown of the 37 kingdoms. However, the law didst also give Jegatrix, Head Umpire, such discretion as to determine if a candidate had an equivalent to the Scroll de Minimis. Padipalia was displeasured by the certification of Gambrach by Jegatrix.
“Hear ye, this day”, they cried, “and know ye by these presents, that Gambrach cannot contend at electora federalis; for he is not possessed of the Scroll de Minimis!”
“He cannot contend! He must be disqualified!” came the cries from some quarters of Social Mediana. Others replied “Even if Gambrach presented a Scroll of Masonry from a bricklayer, yea, would I still stand with him.”
Of course, there again began unchill.
“Peace, be still!” cried Gambrach. “Know ye not that I have once worn the Crown of the 37 kingdoms?”
“Like the Kingdom of God that suffereth violence, thou takest the Crown by force, at the time”, sounded the reply. “We shall not reckon with it.”
“Then take ye heed”, said Gambrach, “that my Scroll de Minimis resides at the Records Palace of the men of Gunn.”
“Dost thou not possess a copy? Shew it to all, that this matter may be put to rest.”
“But consider that I could not have been a senior man of Gunn without the Scroll de Minimis.”
“It should therefore not trouble you to shew it, shouldst it?”
“But I have contended for the crown for 3 quadrannia now. Surely this means, I am possessed of the Scroll de Minimis??!!??”
“We wouldst no longer doubt, if thou wert to shew us a copy.”
And the unchill rumbled between the 2 houses and all their followers in Twilistia and the ends of the earth.
Finally, the scribe of the men of Gunn, cam forth with a proclamation, saying thus-
“Gambrach is one of us, distinguished and revered by all men of Gunn, past, present and future. We wouldst not descend into the arena of controversy with thee. Thee of various places, who have come here to seek his Scroll de Minimis, now take ye heed and know this: There is no record of his Scroll here at our Records Palace. Yea, indeed, is there a parchment from the head tutor at his educatio basicus, and evidence of grades awarded in subjects towards the Scroll, but of the Scroll de Minimis itself, we cannot remove obscurity any further.”
And the Pharisees of the land raged on either side of the divide, with they of the fence ducking to avoid the missiles and invectives being deployed. As it was stated in the book of prophecy, “in that day will learned brother turn against learned brother and the unlearned amongst themselves; and yea, will only the wise seize upon the unchill to set some P.”
Unchill returneth for good.
Here endeth the Chronicles, for the tword cometh upon the chronicler, instructing him of another quest. Ye shall read from him again, but lo, the spirit departs from Twilistia to a land of chill and rest.