#STELLAGATE
She ended her evidence, gleeful
Knowing that it was deceitful
As nothing that’s wrong
Is righted for long
By simply adding “Do the needful”.
Today we are needful of grace
A waiver to hold us in place
When she disapproved
Requests with “approved”
‘Twas needful to throw out her case.
Ah Cosmas, what manner of goof?
You who were genteelly aloof?
Your attitude’s lax
To evasion of tax
Your bullshit is not bullet-proof!
Wasn’t the best of responses
He told us,now look here you dunces
The cars are for guests
That do all the tests
And give all our planes second chances
The ministry gave Cos the nod
To buy a Bavarian pod
When you seek reform
It must be the norm
To defend against Acts of God
The question that’s now on the table-
Is it true or is it a fable
That aircraft must drop
Accidents won’t stop
It’s really all inevitable?
GEJ’S PILGRIMAGE TO ISRAEL
Our president’s off to pay homage
To Jesus; return in His image
We pray that our lives
Will tranfigurise
On his return from the pilgrimage
The people unsheathed their talons
He committee-cised, played along
But when SHE arrived
“Ah, Baruch” he cried
Embraced her with a “Shalom!”
ASUU STRIKE
Ol’ Labby, Goodluck’s head of lament
Has had yet another “oops” moment
The govt signed
Labaran opined
Without understanding th’agreement
So Johnny, when last on the air
Said ASUU was being unfair
Their strike isn’t right
They misuse their might
Unlike them, the govt’s sincere.
SPORT
Now run by Scot un-Knighted
Is down in a rut
A stagnancy glut
And #Arsenal fans are delighted!
Sachin, Sachin Tendulkar
For him we down sambucca
Now he has retired
The world’s most admired
Three cheers, we doff hats to you sir!
SHOWBIZ
Hear Bruce & Kris split up today
Two decades, two years, put away
We keep up no more
Our sympathies pour
To requests to butt out, we say “K”.
OTHER POLITICIANS
The “Market-Woman General”
The question becomes seminal
Pray, what does she do?
I don’t know, do you?
And yet they had a carnival.
Ah, Fani, what a fella
His tweet last night was hella
Deziani’s got poise
Okonjo rules boys
But oh, what he said about Stella!
At Bukky’s some poor paupers died
11 or “just” 4 (who lied?)
But no one will pay
As we learnt today
DPO’s been ordered to slide.
PSYCHOPHANCY
In times of acute tribalism
Days of debased “parapoism”
We all have one hope
Let’s bathe with the soap
Of scented Akpabioism
It’s said to be just like Awoism,
Zikism and Nkrumanism
Zik, Kwame we know
But where will we go
To find the roots of Akpabioism?
We need to ditch this prism
Through which we’ve caused our schism
Our health,roads & schools
Our rage at “those fools”
Just needs patriotism
Pingback: All in One Place: Limericks Of October – Y! Opinion
I always enjoy your limericks
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Thank you very much, Naijawife.
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Amen to GEJ’s Pilgrimage to Israel.
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